Yes, it’s that time again where I present to you crazy shit you can buy on Amazon.com. You know, the people who are going to be taking over the world with Google, Facebook and of course Jennifer’s Review….
This year’s list is based on things I’ve found over the past year and I incorporated an interesting new site to find things … Amazigg.com. Let’s get started shall we?
In reverse order of amazingness:
10. Doody Head Velcro Cap Poo Flinging Game – Did he just call you Doody-head? I think so! What better way to prove your not a doodyhead then to settle that issue by playing the doodyhead game. Strap on these hats and start throwing faux feces at each other’s head. The loser with the most doody on their head loses! The title of who is truly a doodyhead will finally be resolved. Perfect for that next family function with the in-laws!
— I’ve already showcased the beer belly and the wine “rack” so now I introduce you to the BoozeBerry. You’re welcome. I would go into the different ways and events this Boozeberry could be utilized for, but I know my readers …. before you even finish reading this description – you’ve already got your ways mentally imagined don’t you…
8. Heinz Spotted Dick Sponge Pudding, 9.4-Ounce Cans (Pack of 6) — I’m not really going to comment much on this one. I think the name and image says it all. It’s microwavable but comes in a metal can??? PA-LEASE….
7.Rejuvenique RJV10KIT Facial Toning Mask Kit — I don’t know what is more fun about this product … My Michael Myers flashback or William A. Castillo’s Review: “….In a rare stroke of luck, I found this kit at a local Goodwill for less than 20 dollars. Now pucks hitting my face hurt less, plus I will retain my natural youthful skin for years to come. THANKS REJUVINIQUE!” This item is currently out of stock.
6. MHP The Sandler All Wood Coffin Kit — much like buying a house with hardwood floors, getting an all wood coffin says “style”. You can gift this or give it to that special someone to let them know you’ll take care of them always. Sadly, you can’t get this gift wrapped and it’s currently out of stock … but maybe put it on your Amazon wishlist??
5. J&D’s Bacon Flavored Lip Balm, 4.5-Gram Tube (Pack of 4) — They say a way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. This seems like the perfect seductress tool for catching that man. Bacon flavored lip balm. This is especially useful for the person who can’t cook. Spread a little bacon love on your lips and you’re good to go!
4. Bride and Groom Pimp Cups – Nothing says L-O-V-E like P-I-M-P and if it does to you, you two are meant to be. Which is why you probably would find these Bride and Groom pimp cups a special feature on your special day. Cheers to the bride and groom …. pimp style!
3. PROTECTED BY A CHASTITY BELT Orange Flame Hat / Baseball Cap — possibly the best way to get your next conquest. Simply wear this hat to inform everyone of your chastity belt. I’m a little naive about these sort of things, but why are there flames on this hat? Is it the new “hot” trend to inform people of your chasity belt? Or is this just another man trick. I don’t know … I think we should have a hat that says “Warning, beware of those wearing protected by a chastity belt hats”. Just sayin’
2. Genuine Squirrel Underpants. 9″ Waist White Cotton Jockey-Type Drawers with an Elastic Waist — It’s true … those squirrels running around in your yard … they have no underpants on. Amazon.com is here to help! Squirrel underpants are all the rage, you can even get pink underpants for the girl squirrels. Your neighbors will thank you and all the other squirrels in other yards will want to be in your yard, just to get their own pair of underwear..
and finally we come down to my favorite number 1 item you can buy on Amazon:
1. Uranium Ore — It’s important to note that this sample complies with postal regulations. I’m not sure which bothers me more, our “regulations” on this or the fact that you can indeed buy uranium ore samples on Amazon. Either way you look at it, you’ll have tons of fun reading the reviews of this retail product! It’s almost like something you could do on a boring Monday night.
Cheers to fun things to buy on Amazon.com!
Disclaimer: I’m an amazon affiliate, if you decide to purchase these items, I THANK YOU! Also … report back… were they awesome? (coffin review excluded)